I received with great delight, an email from a friend whom I have not thought of for some time. He was a great host when I was visiting Inner Mongolia. I can still remember how his presentation of traditional Mongolian music filled the living room of the hostel. Strangers became friends in an instant. How magical music can be.

This time round, he sent me images which ignited my yearning for the vast grassland, the boundary-free horse riding….

I am by no means, speaking for the production. But if there is anything to apologize for, we would probably be apologizing for being too honest, for telling the story of life as it is. That life is not a bed of roses, that tragedies are part of life. That one learns how to be stronger from sadness.

As an insider and a regular viewer, I urge all to embrace local shows with a more open heart. Values are not taught by hiding the facts of life but to present it in its true forms, and giving freedom to the viewer to make up his or her own mind about how to perceive life.

Let’s steer away from boxes of limitations, but give way to infinite possibilities and let our local show industry a chance to grow.

But it is the ability to connect to these elements that the paradise can be presented to you.

I’ve always enjoyed immersing myself for a decent period of time in a foreign land. I usually find myself more tender, heart more open, mind clearer when I return. This is especially true when the area of visit is of a natural setting. Nature has a strange effect on city people.

In an urban setting, control and management are the core of a functional city life. Many times, some of us might even think of ourselves as the master of universe. The desire to get what we want through strategized means is seen in the daily workings of urban planned life.

Nature has its ways in showing how insignificant and vulnerable one is. But its embracing ways has allowed us to survive in her loving arms. This realization surrenders one in the cosmic flow of destiny. At the end of the day, one is filled with respect and gratitude for the things that are given.

I am grateful for the experience I had in my recent trip to Australia. I took them in as much as I can and will always take solace in that place of tranquility whenever I need a breather.

Ha… the title sounds pretty depressing. Yup, I’m just going away for 17 days but to me, it’s like breaking out of the cocoon. Not that life before was bad… but a retreat is what’s needed.

I’m really sorry about not meeting up this June. I have already made life difficult for the production crew by insisting on the trip. So, I really need to pay it back when I return.

I would like to have something going on in December though. Will sort that out soon..

By the way, just like to introduce this website which I mentioned briefly in the tagboard. I was approached by one of the founders not too long ago, and found it to be rather inspiring, I call this “efforts of the ordinary”

It’s basically an online charity effort to encourage the average man on the street to increase their awareness about their power to contribute to the society. Anyone can start their own campaign. For example, instead of buying that ice-cream, u make the choice not to have it, and donate the money to an adopted charity. There are many rather out of the world ideas out there… It is not directed by images of crying, suffering personnel, but rather, creates an independent and a strong awareness that u can choose how u live your life for the greater good.

My mini campaign for this time round is… For my birthday this year, rather than purchasing gifts which I treasure dearly, let’s have a mindset change exercise. Let me know what u wanted to buy for me and drop me a note. I will visualize it and “get” them… But do donate that amount to the adopted charity I’ve chosen.

Log on to www.give.sg Search for my name and it will take u to my page.

So long…

I used to get really annoyed and upset when people call me naïve. I equate that to being stupid, ignorant and unwise.

There was this interview I went when I just graduated. As I poured my idealism onto my interviewers, the only remark offered was” You ought to be in a child care industry”.

I have always been a headstrong person. Values based on the conventions of right and wrong. I was the vice head prefect back in school and I found pride in fighting for “justice”, so to speak. I never doubted my opinions, and I had always felt righteous for the things I believed in.

Sure, that’s the result of a sheltered life. As the world peels itself, the numerous situations I’ve encountered made it hard to differentiate the blacks and whites, I started questioning the basis of my “righteous” values.

The years of questioning, exploring, searching, made me realized that I have indeed been naïve. I was naïve because I had made judgments on circumstances, on people, by only experiencing a tiny share of life. My heart was narrow because of the judgments I’ve made.

Now I seek a form of reconciliation with the world and my rooted idealism. I am not jaded. Yes, I had been disappointed, but what rose from the ashes is in fact, renewed hope in life, in people, and strangely, the beliefs I held before. Now with my eyes open and my heart stronger.

People made choices and are the way they are because of what they went through. I have not felt their pain and shed their tears. Who am I to say they are wrong. My experience equipped me with the tools to defend myself. Not towards the person, but the evil that exists in everyone of us. I will continue to do my part for the world, but I can only leave the change to the way of the divine for I am only just part of the process.

I embrace what comes along. The world is what it is. This acceptance offers clarity for me to make life choices out of a deeper understanding of self.

Eventually, I hope to obtain closure to the numerous conflicts I have. But I am no longer afraid. It is part of life. Sure, I will keep crying, but I will laugh somewhere in my heart at the same time while the tears are flowing. For, I can feel and grow from it.

Some people still call me naïve when I share with them. But now, I am flattered, as it seems that I haven’t lost myself after all…

Dear boys and girls….

Do not worry or get upset. You guys are absolutely right. I am more than happy to have received a nomination, together with the most respected actresses in local showbiz. What else could I ask for? I’ve enjoyed the night tremendously, other than hoping that I don’t trip on my beautiful but long dress.

I heard your screams, whistles, grateful for the great posters u guys held up for me. It felt less daunting on the red carpet when I turned, and see faces I recognized and could genuinely smiled at.

It’s a very warm feeling knowing there are people out there for you. You guys are like an oasis in the desert.

It’s another working year to strive towards to… Work hard, Play hard, Rest well, Gain peace. A big Thank you once again!

Paigey

We have completed the longest long form drama in local Chinese drama history. A near one and a half years. I just need to keep an entry of this due to its special nature.

I would like to compare this project to a marathon. In a regular 20 or 30 episode drama serial, we are more like sprinters, finishing up a 400m relay.

“Your hand in mine” on the other hand, is a marathon, requiring well-paced stamina, endurance, and determination. Like any other long journeys, there were times of frustrations, doubt, and anguish. But this only made the satisfaction at the end more fulfilling, the views more spectacular. Most importantly, it made us stronger.

I would like to thank everyone involved, for making this marathon less lonely. Thanks for the drinks along the way, the cheers by the roadsides, the pat on the shoulders at the finishing line.

Thanks for having your hand in mine.

This is not the first time campaigns of such nature hit the screen, but how far have we progressed since the courtesy campaign?

Habits are hard to kick. The daily, busy routinely lifestyle of the average Singaporean makes it hard to think about the little details which if we changed, could make life a whole lot nicer for the rest of us.

My friends and I explore the areas of our daily lives, which we vowed to make a change to create more positive and friendlier living conditions.
We call it … “Our top 8 Sins”

Sin #1: Why can’t we clear our trays ?

We were all trained in school to clear up after dining. But somehow we lost touch with it after we step into the “real world” Why oh why? I, myself was a victim. It took a foreign friend to point out to me how inconsiderate the behavior is. It is especially true when we are at a busy fastfood restaurant and clearing the table ourselves would allow others to save time waiting for a table to be cleared.

The theory about job creation is debatable. The job of clearing up after inconsiderate behavior, which indirectly promotes it, is not something that should be encouraged, isn’t it?

Sin #2 : Let others get out first!!

PCK n Rosie said it best. Whether it is waiting for the train or the elevator, it does make more sense to enter when the passageway is cleared of exiting passengers. We are used to the “natural flow” of how things work that we are blinded by how inefficient the system is.

Sin #3: Please hold the door for the person behind you and be grateful if you have received such kindness

Most of us are so concerned about moving on that we don’t make an effort to look back. Doors get slammed into the face of the person behind whose hands are tied up with shopping bags or a crying baby.

And please return the gratitude by a simple thank you. I did an experiment where 7 out of 10 walked through the door while I held the door wide open as if I am a door-opening sensor.

Sin #4: Come on , face it. You don’t need so many plastic bags.

We don’t. Really.Yeah, we need a few at home for our rubbish bins, and …. But let’s try maximizing the space in each plastic bag so that we can reduce the number we take home, and eventually get thrown out because we have too much.

Bottles, snacks can be stuffed into your packs, so return the plastic bag.

Sin #5:The number of cars running the red light n basic car courtesy..

I don’t drive so I won’t know. But friends have commented that Singaporeans seemed to have a Schumacher alter ego. The destination is the finishing line. We all rush to beat the lights, deny others overtaking, cutting lanes.

Sin #6: I love movies, please don’t ruin it for me

I’m sure we have experienced that in the cinema where people discuss the movie in the middle of it, talk on the phone, talk about where their next hang out place would be….. This is pretty direct. It’s plain rude.

Sin #7: Hop into the next cab in the line.

I was badly embarrassed a few years ago when a passenger next to me chided me publicly for delaying the queue by lazily waiting for the cab to arrive at my footsteps. I was clearly unhappy but once I simmer and thought through my actions, I realized the person was right.

Yup, I am proud to say I have become a better commuter now.

Sin #8: Le’t try to live as a community. Clear up the public space as you would at home

I am working on this as well. We are not used to clearing up public spaces besides when we are in a community project, or hmm…. corrective service. But I think it’s a good habit to start cultivating to be more aware of litter in the public space.

We are a young nation but we can’t keep using that as our excuse. We are responsible for our own quality of life. Take responsibility for our own actions. As individuals, or as a society, we are ready for the next step.
Be aware…for the greater good.

In this seemingly perfect world, everyone is trying to fit into that photo-shopped, flawless mould. Are we able to embrace the less than perfect? Are we strong enough?

Sometimes, I get into moments of intense emotions.  Below is a poem I wrote which a particular happening drew me into a state of self-questioning.

If I am not a saint…

Let me say this while my conscience shouts:

Words of sugar I denied

Words of daggers I held in pride.

But soon I turned around and find

A trail of broken hearts I left behind

B’cos I dreamt of a mighty me

Wield the sword and slay the beast

In my wake, I know I am not

Lack the strength to walk the talk

Love and peace I wish for all

So that we can all stand tall

I pray for powers from the above the skies

Before the lord of darkness leaves us dry

And as my pen comes to a halt

Please tell me in a form of a nod

Will you still love me tomorrow?

If I am a saint, not?