Before I leave…

Ha… the title sounds pretty depressing. Yup, I’m just going away for 17 days but to me, it’s like breaking out of the cocoon. Not that life before was bad… but a retreat is what’s needed.

I’m really sorry about not meeting up this June. I have already made life difficult for the production crew by insisting on the trip. So, I really need to pay it back when I return.

I would like to have something going on in December though. Will sort that out soon..

By the way, just like to introduce this website which I mentioned briefly in the tagboard. I was approached by one of the founders not too long ago, and found it to be rather inspiring, I call this “efforts of the ordinary”

It’s basically an online charity effort to encourage the average man on the street to increase their awareness about their power to contribute to the society. Anyone can start their own campaign. For example, instead of buying that ice-cream, u make the choice not to have it, and donate the money to an adopted charity. There are many rather out of the world ideas out there… It is not directed by images of crying, suffering personnel, but rather, creates an independent and a strong awareness that u can choose how u live your life for the greater good.

My mini campaign for this time round is… For my birthday this year, rather than purchasing gifts which I treasure dearly, let’s have a mindset change exercise. Let me know what u wanted to buy for me and drop me a note. I will visualize it and “get” them… But do donate that amount to the adopted charity I’ve chosen.

Log on to www.give.sg Search for my name and it will take u to my page.

So long…

Self-righteousness…Watch out for that, goody two shoes!!

I used to get really annoyed and upset when people call me naïve. I equate that to being stupid, ignorant and unwise.

There was this interview I went when I just graduated. As I poured my idealism onto my interviewers, the only remark offered was” You ought to be in a child care industry”.

I have always been a headstrong person. Values based on the conventions of right and wrong. I was the vice head prefect back in school and I found pride in fighting for “justice”, so to speak. I never doubted my opinions, and I had always felt righteous for the things I believed in.

Sure, that’s the result of a sheltered life. As the world peels itself, the numerous situations I’ve encountered made it hard to differentiate the blacks and whites, I started questioning the basis of my “righteous” values.

The years of questioning, exploring, searching, made me realized that I have indeed been naïve. I was naïve because I had made judgments on circumstances, on people, by only experiencing a tiny share of life. My heart was narrow because of the judgments I’ve made.

Now I seek a form of reconciliation with the world and my rooted idealism. I am not jaded. Yes, I had been disappointed, but what rose from the ashes is in fact, renewed hope in life, in people, and strangely, the beliefs I held before. Now with my eyes open and my heart stronger.

People made choices and are the way they are because of what they went through. I have not felt their pain and shed their tears. Who am I to say they are wrong. My experience equipped me with the tools to defend myself. Not towards the person, but the evil that exists in everyone of us. I will continue to do my part for the world, but I can only leave the change to the way of the divine for I am only just part of the process.

I embrace what comes along. The world is what it is. This acceptance offers clarity for me to make life choices out of a deeper understanding of self.

Eventually, I hope to obtain closure to the numerous conflicts I have. But I am no longer afraid. It is part of life. Sure, I will keep crying, but I will laugh somewhere in my heart at the same time while the tears are flowing. For, I can feel and grow from it.

Some people still call me naïve when I share with them. But now, I am flattered, as it seems that I haven’t lost myself after all…

If I am not a saint

In this seemingly perfect world, everyone is trying to fit into that photo-shopped, flawless mould. Are we able to embrace the less than perfect? Are we strong enough?

Sometimes, I get into moments of intense emotions.  Below is a poem I wrote which a particular happening drew me into a state of self-questioning.

If I am not a saint…

Let me say this while my conscience shouts:

Words of sugar I denied

Words of daggers I held in pride.

But soon I turned around and find

A trail of broken hearts I left behind

B’cos I dreamt of a mighty me

Wield the sword and slay the beast

In my wake, I know I am not

Lack the strength to walk the talk

Love and peace I wish for all

So that we can all stand tall

I pray for powers from the above the skies

Before the lord of darkness leaves us dry

And as my pen comes to a halt

Please tell me in a form of a nod

Will you still love me tomorrow?

If I am a saint, not?

Dawn of the year

I begin the new year with a quick look back at 2009…. Fantastic! It had its share of joy and tears and everything in between. I cannot ask for more. Looking forward, I strive to take every breath a little deeper, exhale a little longer, immerse in the ticks and tocks of time. That will be life for me.

I share with u 2 passages and will end off with an extract of an inspiring poem,

A close friend of mine wrote the 2 passages. I love them for their insights and sincerity.

The poem, an extract from “Invictus” struck me as strong and motivating. A very apt sign off, I thought. Have a great 2010 pple!!

歸於簡單

需要與欲望被混亂的世界 勾心鬥角 無法給於滿足
明明懂得自己需要的 卻為了想要的 把需要的當成犧牲品
耍心機會令彼此受傷害
名牌並不等於自信與尊重
禮物不代表關心呵護
會令人感動的是堅韌的親情，友情 與感性
我認真對待每個與我相逢的人的感情
因為是社會是由人所造 只有人能讓一切歸回簡單
希望每個人都能好好對待別人 別把需要和想要留在課本裡。

P/S: 我也喜歡物質生活 不過是學會取捨

簡單並不等於傻

某網友說這世界是黑暗的
我看見黑暗事很多 例如在工作上看見家人朋友情人騙取金錢的案例頻頻上演
對我而言 簡單與傻是有分別的
簡單是懂得很多是一輩子不會發生在自己身上的黑暗事，不
表示傻到當它不存在
我很幸運有家人對我像公主般的呵護 但是了解有為了貪或權利 而上演的家庭暴利和詐騙案
不是沒在人生路上被背叛與欺騙 只是正因為如此而更懂得看人和珍惜對自己好的人
例如我脾氣暴躁時 朋友就會忍受我發標的壞脾氣 而我就當他們的陽光大使 鼓勵他們
因為人生在世 不可能一切如自己所願
我曾經因為一連串的傷害 對人性絕望 冷眼理性對待全部人
但是卻慢慢發現人在變換世界中 唯一能選擇是生活態度。
因為很多人無需對我好 卻對我很好
例如不認識的阿姨 看見烈日當空 就為我承傘

p/s:我說我認真對待別人 但沒說沒看見不認真的人
————————————-Jace Chen——————

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

————————————-William Ernest Henley——-

How do I protect you in this crazy world….

I love being around children. They are so pure in their actions and expressions. So ready to soak in every experience they encounter. They indulge so freely in the things happening around them. I look at my growing cousins and children of friends, I sometimes wish that they can be children forever. I will hate to see them get over heartbreaks, and shed their innocence day by day as they build up their bank of worldly knowledge.

As mentioned many times, I am an idealist. Yes, I have accepted the fact that I can’t change the world, much less save it. But I can’t help the feeling that comes over me when I see a wide-eyed child so immersed in their every moment of time.

Then comes my silent prayer to them: I wish that the world will always be beautiful and interesting in your eyes, that your passion for life never runs dry.

Let’s do it together

As promised, I will be having a second gathering in December. I think u guys are quite keen on having an activity instead of just having a meal together. The last gathering was great but I thought, as we got to know one another better, we should start doing something more interesting and meaningful.

I have mentioned in the tagboard earlier on about helping out in the preparation of a Children’s Christmas party. The in-charge of Willing Hearts, an organization which provides daily meals for the poor and needy approached me for some help and I thought it will be great if our gathering can both be fun and contributive.

There are 2 dates which I will personally be involved with.

13 Dec (Sunday) – Wrapping of presents (800 of them)- Time confirmed: 1030am to 130pm.
18 Dec (Friday) - Packing of Christmas muffins and cookies (1000of them) from 2pm

For those interested in joining us, do drop an email indicating the dates u are able to help out. It will be best if u can come for both.
paigechua.fc@hotmail.com

Hope to see u guys!

I have a dream…

It had been a trying period for people with the current erratic condition of the economy. Economic analysis, insights are as good as weather forecasts. Just a few months ago, the national day rally seemed to put many at ease with the assurance provided by PM Lee.

I was particularly intrigued by the visual presentation which showcased what Singapore will look like once the continuing development projects are completed. The progress Singapore had achieved over the years had awed locals and foreigners alike. I count my blessings everyday that I am born in the right country at the right time, being spared a lot of turmoil other nations suffered under.

The world has seen too much of extreme wealth and poverty living side by side. Is this continuous vicious cycle a result of apathy or just plain ignorance?

I turn to Dr Martin Luther king for inspiration. His dream for African Americans to be seen and treated as equals never fail to inspire me. His courage and passion to fight against all odds fuels the idealist in me.

Therefore, I have a dream too. I dream that while Singapore becomes well-endowed materially, we have to make sure there will always be a helping hand to offer to those lagging behind. There are many groups in Singapore that require our attention. The elderly, abused foreign workers, foreign construction workers cheated of their money, ex-convicts wanting a second chance, and many more…

I have a dream….. that sincerity and respect form the basis of social interaction in the country. With that, comes thoughtful, meaningful discourses and discussions about anything under the sun. Positive, interesting, creative ideas come about without fear or layered with hypocrisy. And forgiveness and acceptance become such a natural process as u know even the mistakes made, meant no malice.

I have a dream… that while we equip ourselves with knowledge, we have to know that wisdom makes us human. The wisdom to defend against evil and convert the negatives into positives. Knowledge equips us for the battles, but wisdom wins the war.

I have a dream… that while Singapore continues to build itself as a democratic society based on justice and equality so as to achieve happiness, prosperity and progress for the nation, we also not forget to build ourselves as a compassionate society, based on humility, respect, so as to achieve love, peace, and joy for our nation.

Keep the love alive

One of my best friends had asked me to forward this message to as many as possible. I obliged without hesitation. This is one of those times where borders, nationalities, geographical distances do not matter. Cos our hearts beat as one, we feel as one. And indeed… we are all human.

—————————————————————————————————
在經濟還未好轉的狀況下 許多人都在開源節流
但是莫拉克颱風所帶來的災害 無論是否身處台灣都應該知道吧。
在日新月異的時代 世界是個地球村
在至少能感受到溫飽的環境
希望大家能設身處地

記得還在災區的人
記得生命的無價
給於一點一滴的付出 未必會被歌頌 但是卻能讓愛堆積灌溉心田

希望大家一起付出愛心

p/s:
台灣—可以捐給國際團體 例如 紅X字會 創X基金會 說明要給這次八八水災用途

海外捐贈—可以遵循國際組織的辦法 以八八水災為捐款的目的

With the present economic downturn everyone is trying to lessen their expenditures. However, I am sure that everyone no matter whether they are living in Taiwan or not are aware of the disaster brought forth by Typhoon Morakot.

With the ease and technological advancements of today, Earth has become a global village. While we can at least count our blessings of having our basic necessities met, I hope that everyone can put themselves in others’ shoes and
Remember those suffering in the disaster zone
Remember that Life is a irreversible precious commodity

The small part that each of us does may not be recognized but we can let Love into everyone’ hearts
Hope that everyone can help out to keep love alive

Pls contact your local RED CROSS to make a donation in assistance to the disaster in Taiwan.

————————————————————————————————-

Welcome Home

I visited China in 2007. China is not just an ordinary traveling destination. To me, it is where it all begins. Being an ethnic Chinese in a young migrant society, there has always been a strong sense of questioning about “when did we come from?”. We have been educated in formal and popular media about how Singapore grew to be what it is today.

I’ve always wondered about the choices my great grand parents made, and the paths they have taken to give the life my family and I have now. One of my agendas in visiting China is to reconnect with what I thought, to be the roots of my existence.

We always take our identity as Singaporeans for granted and traveling always reminded me of who I am. Sometimes, when u travel, you lose yourself in a new setting. I was just getting comfortable being a suave wanderer when one episode caught me off guard and my heart ached of homesickness at that point of time.

I was in inner Mongolia describing Singapore to a group of interested travelers. Questions like how many languages do you speak in Singapore? What food do you eat there? How big is the population in Singapore? As all these questions poured in, I was slowly regaining visions of Singapore, (The hawker centers, the HDBs, the merlion, national parades, SBS buses, Comfort taxis, squeazy MRTS, ah bengs and lians,), and was being reminded what it feels like back home. All of a sudden, a student volunteering at the hostel I was staying at joined the group excited, and exclaimed,” 新加坡 呀！ 我阿姨说那是世界上最美的国家!”

I looked at him and saw in him a form of pure wonderment and certainty that I felt ashamed of myself for joyfully leaving my own country. I was filled with gratitude, an inner voice saying “ thanks for believing in my country, thanks for bringing me back home.”

I landed in Changi airport terminal 2 upon my arrival. As I ride the escalator, making my way towards the immigration counter, I headed to the queues, which says SINGAPOREANS/PERMANAENT CITIZENS. And a screen below scrolls, WELCOME HOME.

Patriotism is not just an idealistic notion. It is felt and lived by. It is a natural process of attachment to a demarcated piece of land. It is nurtured over the years by generations who weathered the storm and stood by to defend what they have come to love.

Like many young Singaporeans, I complained about many things that are lacking in Singapore. I am curious about the world beyond and can’t wait to get my feet dirty on those off beaten tracks. But now I know for sure. Regardless of where I will be in the future, I can never erase what has been rooted in me since the day I was born. I can never be detached from the place I’ve learned to love, fear, cry, laugh, fall and stand.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE

Sometimes when we touch

I am by no means a talented person. I’ve always envied naturally artistic persons who can effortlessly express the most intimate human emotions through their work. Tortured but free in their world, they connect with the rest of the world with their understanding and that straightforward perspective about life.

In an unplanned KTV session with my good friends earlier on, I chanced upon this song, which touched all of us present. Originally by Dan Hill, “Sometimes when we touch” is beautiful in lyrics and tune. It is so meticulous in the expression of an unsaid connection between 2 persons.

Love the line, “Sometimes when we touch. The honesty’s too much” The overwhelming sensation which seems to link 2 souls together, and the layers melt away and bares the most honest and vulnerable side to each other…

Enjoy…