If I am not a saint

In this seemingly perfect world, everyone is trying to fit into that photo-shopped, flawless mould. Are we able to embrace the less than perfect? Are we strong enough?

Sometimes, I get into moments of intense emotions. God knows why, but I do. Below is a poem I wrote which a particular happening drew me into a state of self-questioning.

If I am not a saint…

Let me say this while my conscience shouts:

Words of sugar I denied

Words of daggers I held in pride.

But soon I turned around and find

A trail of broken hearts I left behind

B’cos I dreamt of a mighty me

Yield the sword and slay the beast

In my wake, I know I am not

Lack the strength to walk the talk

Love and peace I wish for all

So that we can all stand tall

I pray for powers from the above the skies

Before the lord of darkness leaves us dry

And as my pen comes to a halt

Please tell me in a form of a nod

Will you still love me tomorrow?

If I am a saint, not?

Your friend … Always

Very gratefully, I am appointed as the ambassador for Fisherman’s Friend for the second year round… We did a few new inserts for the TVC and a new picture for the print in this round of campaign. It’s always great to work with familiar crew and clients and it’s no different with the Fisherman’s Friend team. Here’s a big thank you to you guys!! Oh .. and Have a Fabulous Tiger Year!!

A salute to local showbiz

I cannot stress enough how I love a good movie. I am fortunate to be in an industry where I can be involved in the making of stories. Maybe the neurotic part of me needed this as well.

It is no secret that the local show business has been under a lot of pressure to achieve greater heights, with the increasing expectations of local audience and competition from fellow film makers. The short history of local showbiz, limited demand, budgets, time constraints hinder the works of the team in so many ways.

But the thing about show people is that we have an innate interest in life. What I mean is, show people see life from a third person’s point of view. We recreate them for the screen. And I don’t mean just the actors, but everyone in the team… the script writers, camera crew, directors, editors, and eventually we transfer this interest to the audience.

During lunch breaks, or as and when we have a chance to bump into experienced seniors, there will always be fruitful discussions about the artistry. In a rare occasion, I had the privilege to talk to a respected and solemn director. He told me he watched a Korean film and was touched by how well it was made. He kept thinking about what he could do to produce such works.

I was impressed by the humility he showed despite his seniority and the zest to improve his artistry. I felt really hopeful then. Immediately, I had recollections of how in school, we would watch a documentary and have a class discussion over it.

There could be a movie night once a month or something and we can have a discussion of the movie over a light buffet dinner. All involved in the drama production should be invited.

Every profession has a role to play in the society. Drama producers (in all departments) are artists, responsible to document the memories, social state of our generation. It is not just pride we should have in our works, but honor.

Dawn of the year

I begin the new year with a quick look back at 2009…. Fantastic! It had its share of joy and tears and everything in between. I cannot ask for more. Looking forward, I strive to take every breath a little deeper, exhale a little longer, immerse in the ticks and tocks of time. That will be life for me.

I share with u 2 passages and will end off with an extract of an inspiring poem,

A close friend of mine wrote the 2 passages. I love them for their insights and sincerity.

The poem, an extract from “Invictus” struck me as strong and motivating. A very apt sign off, I thought. Have a great 2010 pple!!

歸於簡單

需要與欲望被混亂的世界 勾心鬥角 無法給於滿足
明明懂得自己需要的 卻為了想要的 把需要的當成犧牲品
耍心機會令彼此受傷害
名牌並不等於自信與尊重
禮物不代表關心呵護
會令人感動的是堅韌的親情，友情 與感性
我認真對待每個與我相逢的人的感情
因為是社會是由人所造 只有人能讓一切歸回簡單
希望每個人都能好好對待別人 別把需要和想要留在課本裡。

P/S: 我也喜歡物質生活 不過是學會取捨

簡單並不等於傻

某網友說這世界是黑暗的
我看見黑暗事很多 例如在工作上看見家人朋友情人騙取金錢的案例頻頻上演
對我而言 簡單與傻是有分別的
簡單是懂得很多是一輩子不會發生在自己身上的黑暗事，不
表示傻到當它不存在
我很幸運有家人對我像公主般的呵護 但是了解有為了貪或權利 而上演的家庭暴利和詐騙案
不是沒在人生路上被背叛與欺騙 只是正因為如此而更懂得看人和珍惜對自己好的人
例如我脾氣暴躁時 朋友就會忍受我發標的壞脾氣 而我就當他們的陽光大使 鼓勵他們
因為人生在世 不可能一切如自己所願
我曾經因為一連串的傷害 對人性絕望 冷眼理性對待全部人
但是卻慢慢發現人在變換世界中 唯一能選擇是生活態度。
因為很多人無需對我好 卻對我很好
例如不認識的阿姨 看見烈日當空 就為我承傘

p/s:我說我認真對待別人 但沒說沒看見不認真的人
————————————-Jace Chen——————

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

————————————-William Ernest Henley——-

How do I protect you in this crazy world….

I love being around children. They are so pure in their actions and expressions. So ready to soak in every experience they encounter. They indulge so freely in the things happening around them. I look at my growing cousins and children of friends, I sometimes wish that they can be children forever. I will hate to see them get over heartbreaks, and shed their innocence day by day as they build up their bank of worldly knowledge.

As mentioned many times, I am an idealist. Yes, I have accepted the fact that I can’t change the world, much less save it. But I can’t help the feeling that comes over me when I see a wide-eyed child so immersed in their every moment of time.

Then comes my silent prayer to them: I wish that the world will always be beautiful and interesting in your eyes, that your passion for life never runs dry.

Sweet elves of Santa

A big thank you to all who had spent time working on wrapping the presents and muffins with me.

U guys are truly like the lovely elves at Santa’s workshop. Diligent and happy…. I am sure most of u felt achy after standing for so long and working straight for 3 hours. But I am also confident that although we all went home tired and sweaty, we know that it’s all worth it.

To the group who came on the 13th, it’s a shame I didn’t bring a camera to take pictures of u guys in action. I was also in a hurry to go to work. But we did an incredible job wrapping soft toys and making paper bags. It really saved the organizers a few nights of toil.

To the group who came on the 18th, I love the part when we formed 2 rows, moving chairs and tables, passing them from one to another. I really felt that was the time the ice between us melted and we worked as a team, united and effectively. The rest of the volunteers were amazed at how coordinated we are.

Thanks Joey for the coordination. The events would not have been so successful without u, collating the list and communicating with the group and myself.

Below is an overview of us at work yesterday. Here are the pictures…. Thanks Gin for these.

Let’s do it together

As promised, I will be having a second gathering in December. I think u guys are quite keen on having an activity instead of just having a meal together. The last gathering was great but I thought, as we got to know one another better, we should start doing something more interesting and meaningful.

I have mentioned in the tagboard earlier on about helping out in the preparation of a Children’s Christmas party. The in-charge of Willing Hearts, an organization which provides daily meals for the poor and needy approached me for some help and I thought it will be great if our gathering can both be fun and contributive.

There are 2 dates which I will personally be involved with.

13 Dec (Sunday) – Wrapping of presents (800 of them)- Time confirmed: 1030am to 130pm.
18 Dec (Friday) - Packing of Christmas muffins and cookies (1000of them) from 2pm

For those interested in joining us, do drop an email indicating the dates u are able to help out. It will be best if u can come for both.
paigechua.fc@hotmail.com

Hope to see u guys!

I have a dream…

It had been a trying period for people with the current erratic condition of the economy. Economic analysis, insights are as good as weather forecasts. Just a few months ago, the national day rally seemed to put many at ease with the assurance provided by PM Lee.

I was particularly intrigued by the visual presentation which showcased what Singapore will look like once the continuing development projects are completed. The progress Singapore had achieved over the years had awed locals and foreigners alike. I count my blessings everyday that I am born in the right country at the right time, being spared a lot of turmoil other nations suffered under.

The world has seen too much of extreme wealth and poverty living side by side. Is this continuous vicious cycle a result of apathy or just plain ignorance?

I turn to Dr Martin Luther king for inspiration. His dream for African Americans to be seen and treated as equals never fail to inspire me. His courage and passion to fight against all odds fuels the idealist in me.

Therefore, I have a dream too. I dream that while Singapore becomes well-endowed materially, we have to make sure there will always be a helping hand to offer to those lagging behind. There are many groups in Singapore that require our attention. The elderly, abused foreign workers, foreign construction workers cheated of their money, ex-convicts wanting a second chance, and many more…

I have a dream….. that sincerity and respect form the basis of social interaction in the country. With that, comes thoughtful, meaningful discourses and discussions about anything under the sun. Positive, interesting, creative ideas come about without fear or layered with hypocrisy. And forgiveness and acceptance become such a natural process as u know even the mistakes made, meant no malice.

I have a dream… that while we equip ourselves with knowledge, we have to know that wisdom makes us human. The wisdom to defend against evil and convert the negatives into positives. Knowledge equips us for the battles, but wisdom wins the war.

I have a dream… that while Singapore continues to build itself as a democratic society based on justice and equality so as to achieve happiness, prosperity and progress for the nation, we also not forget to build ourselves as a compassionate society, based on humility, respect, so as to achieve love, peace, and joy for our nation.

What do you live for?

Sigh.. sometimes, I feel that I think far too much.. far too unnecessary… One of my favorite spot at home is right in front of a full length wall mirror, while seated in a rattan chair. Sometimes, I like to sit there alone in the dark, often scaring my sister when she walked past the living room unsuspected.

One afternoon, I was seated at the same spot, allowing my mind to drift to the past and future. My mother walked into my holy realm and started a conversation. She said a lot (as always). A particular topic lingered which gave me the inspiration for this entry. She told me that my grandmother had once said to her that if she were to pass on now, she will be very happy. It struck me that she told me the same thing when I was in my teens. She said she has lived a full life, she has no regrets.

A life with no regrets….How cool! Somehow, as I reflected and looked into my own life, I am quite glad to realize that I will be satisfied to leave this world without much desires unfulfilled. I have fought to do the things I have wanted all my life. I will always have good reasons to support the decisions I’ve made, although some had turned out to be less than perfect experiences.

I have loved unconditionally, possessed selfishly;
been an adorable human being to some, an annoying brat to others;
dived into some ridiculous adventures, cowardly rejected many;
made certain people proud of my doings, made some disproved of my works;
had plenty to spend on my next meal, counted the last few shillings in my purse;
found faith in the many individuals I’ve befriended, faced evil in my own heart;
shed tears with a broken heart, oblivious to those I’ve shattered;
Obstinately keeping up with the ideals I’ve gotten from fairy tales, negotiated some cos at times, it’s just too painful to be lonely.

Life is a roller coaster. Darn.. I hate roller coasters. But I’m glad I’ve done it, at least once :>

Born Free

I love immersing myself in the serenity of nature… Most of the time, I can only imagine wishfully, what it feels like to be on top of the mountain, skinny-dipping in the clear blue sea, camping on an unclaimed beach, accompanied by millions of stars when night falls.

However, a few years ago, it became a reality. What irritates me is that, the pictures I have with me is losing its realism… It felt like a dream … I’m so desperate to get it back. I remember the times when I was hiking In New Zealand and Minnesota, I was more overwhelmed by exhaustion and the breath taking sceneries. I was busy snapping away, trying to hold on to every inch of soil I put my foot on. We were on a mission to complete the day’s hike and when we reached camp, I was more involved with nursing my sore feet and digging into the guide book for information about the next day’s hike.

When I feel suffocated in the city , how I wish there is a teleport invented, so that I get transported to that spot where my soul can get a recharge. The place where the awe of nature reduces my ego and I get pieces of myself back again.

Here, I share with you all, those places where my body had been, but my soul had not had the time to catch up on…..